All You Can Do Is Move Forward

I guess the number of posts I'm compelled to write is the best indicator that my life is in a phase of upheaval (wow, I actually used that word... self pitty much?). My first reaction to all of this change is something along the lines of whining, curling up in a ball, pulling the covers up around my head, and screaming into a pillow. You can only do that for so long before you get really stiff, hot, and a scratchy throat to top it off... so here I am trying to have the courage to take the big leaps of faith that absolutely terrify me. I am so grateful for the messages of General Conference. It still amazes me that during every conference there is at least one (usually more) message that hits the nail right on the head... the not so subtle hint that the Lord is listening to my prayers. I'm helped along by some reflection of the past few weeks and I can now see the puzzle pieces fit together with a little bit more perspective. A lot of little things have been a let down and now I see them as the Lord clearing a path for me to more easily make a bigger decision.
I wish I were, at this very moment, working on getting settled into a new apartment with a great friend. I wish I were still patiently waiting for an amazing man to come home and ready to move forward and see where a promising relationship would go. I wish I were comfortably bored at work instead of finally making some changes and feeling the motivation to move forward.
This past weekend I was offered a job as a paralegal (see all my whiney posts about homework and you'll see that's kind of a big deal). It is a really great opportunity and I look at everything that has happened over the past few weeks and I can clearly see that Heavenly Father has cleared away the anchors that I would use as excuses hold me back. I'm still wobbly on my decision to jump off this cliff and leave a stable job that I am very comfortable doing, but (perhaps because of the recent events) my motto lately has become "All you can do is move forward". At the same time I kind of hate that motto... IT'S HARD!!! And it's terrifying... and yet I'm trying.
Wish me luck... I am cutting yet another safety rope tomorrow.