There Are No Coincidences

It has been a VERY rough week so far, actually I could probably say its been a rough few months. I won't go into any detail, but I will say I've faced a lot of challenges. There are a few things that have been expected, sad consequences to poor judgement. These things I deal with fairly well. I'm a girl, of course, so sometimes there are tears but most of the time I just keep on truckin'. There are a few things that are just life's regular bumps. These roll off pretty easy. Then there are those unexpected events that challenge you for all your worth. I feel like I've probably dealt with my share of these trials over the past year and a half. Over the past few months I've been anticipating SOMETHING, but when the bomb finally dropped I was completely blindsided and, honestly, more than a little heartbroken.

Non- Coincidence #1:

Come Monday morning I had to stare at myself in the mirror and say "Jess, there will be no crying today" (I did really well for myself in case you're wondering). I was absolutely dreading going to work. I sit at a desk all day and do a job that takes almost no thought at all. My mind would be free all day to focus on sad things, but I got up and went to work anyways. I knew I had a few audio books waiting for me in the back seat of my car, and I was grateful for the distraction. I dug them out and was excited to see that I had remembered to pick up a compilation of CS Lewis classics I had on hold at the library. I picked it up to see the first book in the collection, "The Problem of Pain". I was intrigued... so when I got to work I popped in the first CD and I sat at my computer simply dumbstruck. Lewis prefaces "The Problem of Pain" with a little disclaimer that while he would comment on pain in the following pages, and would do so with no qualms or hesitation, he did not mean to be hypocritical. He admitted to his fair share of pain in life and readily stated that he was not the perfect example of dealing with it BUT he had learned a lot and had a lot to share....

"When pain is to be borne, a little courage helps more than much knowledge, a little human sympathy more than much courage, and the least tincture of the love of God more than all."

I'm not sure why this struck me so hard. I guess it was just the perfect way he phrased it. Looking back over the past couple of years I cannot deny the love I have felt from my Heavenly Father. In every blessing I have received in that time (and probably every single one before that) I have been reassured of His love for me.

I could not have asked for a better uplifting book to listen to than this one. All day I sat in utter amazement and I was comforted and humbled. I think every single one of us wants to ask "Why?!?!?!" when something difficult rolls our way. "Why am I going through this?" "Why do I have to learn this lesson?" "Why more heartache?"... Lewis discusses the common idea that the Lord is an artist and we are his creation...

"He will take endless trouble, and would doubtless thereby, give endless trouble to the picture, if it were sentient. One can imagine a sentient picture after being rubbed and scraped and recommenced for the 10th time wishing that it were only a thumbnail sketch whose making was over in a minute. In the same way it is natural for us to wish God had designed for us a less glorious and less arduous destiny, but then we are wishing not for more love, but for less."

Again, dumbfounded. Was I really asking Heavenly Father to love me less?

Needless to say, I left work more uplifted and in better spirits than I could have hoped, and I knew... that audio book was NO COINCIDENCE.

Non-coincidence #2:

My family has been planning a temple trip so that we could all help in doing some work for some family members my mom has found records for recently. Back in February we all planned on going on a Tuesday night to the Bountiful temple. She called ahead and discovered that they were WAY too busy for us to come and set the first appointment available... in 5 weeks. Yesterday was that appointment. I'll admit a failing of mine, I'm not great about getting to the temple as regularly as I should, and with all of the emotional ups and downs I hadn't even thought to take some time and go to the temple. I went and did baptisms for family names and for the first time in a long time was in the temple with most of my family. I don't think I even need to say how comforting that experience was... again NO COINCIDENCE.

Non-coincidence #3 - idk #10... 20

Amazing and inspired friends randomly calling or texting to express they were thinking about me. Having people in my life that not only support and love me, but are the perfect people to offer advice and sympathize.

I honestly could go on and on. I am hurt, and sad, and know that I have an interesting road in front of me BUT I am loved. I have so much to be grateful for. I have experienced MUCH more than "the least tincture of the love of God" and CS Lewis was right... above all else, this has helped more than I can even express.